Things you'd like to say....

My last post was about the words you use when dealing with people you care about.  But what about people you don't care about, or that irritate you?  Just for fun, I've made a list of things I'd like to say, but never do.  I'm fairly certain they aren't politically correct--but I'm in a strange mood so for today I don't care. ; )

When dealing with stress:

Rum won't cure it, but it makes it a hell-of-a lot harder to notice.

For x's:

Consider yourself lucky that judges are less forgiving than God.

For condescending advisers:  

Lemonade?  How about I throw them at you?  At least one of us will feel better.

For skinny girls that constantly talk about how 'fat' they are:

Have you had an allergic reaction to something?  Your entire body looks swollen.

Clueless cashiers:

They're called numbers.  You can count them backwards and forwards.  

Egotistic guys in bars:

Aren't you cute!  Did you mother pick out that outfit for you?

People who enjoy talking about things they know nothing about:

Do you realize you sound smarter when you're not talking?

For various occasions:

Do you realize how embarrassing it would be to wake up in the ER and have to explain that a woman knocked you out?

If you know so much, why am I paying for summer school?

Should I say these things?  Probably not.  It doesn't hurt to think them loudly, and it does make me feel better when I'm aggravated. LOL